Go Back.

Go back to the old you.

You were so much better.

People liked you better.

You were stronger.

Stop getting carried away

Just because you got off with a blissful year for once.

You're still cuffed.

Stop thinking of yourself.

Stop making people understand you.

Just stop. You're an embarrassment.

Remember. CURTAINS' UP

Comedy

"You've always been free."

I wasn't able to say anything.

I laughed at myself..

I realized how much of me people haven't seen.

"Since you were born, you've been free."

How funny he thinks that.

My birth is my cuff itself.

I loath it.

.. Being born.

I wish I could donate it

to someone who actually wants it.

".. be a hero"

So he said.


Continuously enduring pain I shouldn't even be feeling.
(They didn't even realized they inflicted on me)

Sharing what's supposed to be mine.

Saying "I'm fine..", "It's fine.." just so they could be happy.

No matter how they make me unconsciously choose between them,
I constantly try my best to make both of them happy
(Even if it hurts me..)

Continuously blaming myself for this.
That if only I had handled things differently.. If only I wasn't this selfish..
.. if only I wasn't 'this' and 'that' or what...
Things might've been different.

Giving up a lot of things. Convincing myself that it's okay, they're not for me.
(Yes, apparently, a complete family's one of them.)

When I was around 11, I had told myself that no matter how painful it gets for me,
I will try to understand them.
(And I've been doing so. Through the years. And until now.)

Crying myself to sleep.
Asking my dear Lord why it has to be me.
(Was I really that bad of a person?)

Complying, struggling, and giving precious things up. Because they can't do it themselves.



And here I thought

these were enough to be considered "heroic"..

I guess not.

They need more from me.

And There You Have It..

I found my dreams again;

My motivation.

A much clearer goal to work hard on.

And as much as I'm terrified of how rough and tough it's going to be,

Screw it. I'll face it!

Because it'll be MY life. Finally.

And it really makes me laugh how

in just a bat of an eye,

all these bursted into bubbles..

without even giving me a chance.